


best way to tire someone out is to steal their motorcycle

by gunyatta



Series: Rat and Hog Join Overwatch [1]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Implied Junkrat/Roadhog - Freeform, M/M, Mild Language, despite what they have actually shown the training area to be, to me the gibraltar training room is more like the danger room
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-24
Updated: 2017-07-24
Packaged: 2018-12-06 09:34:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11597889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gunyatta/pseuds/gunyatta
Summary: Junkrat and Roadhog find it hard to sleep the first few nights at the Gibraltar base and Winston has to come up with something to keep them from blowing up the base, themselves and Winston's sanity.





	best way to tire someone out is to steal their motorcycle

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic. I love the Junker boys and might make a series of really benign stuff they get up to after Winston recruits them to Overwatch. It's shippy if you squint!

When Roadhog and Junkrat first got to the Gibraltar compound, they could not get to sleep. It’s not that they hadn’t slept in beds before. They’d stayed the night in plenty of shoddy motels across Europe and South America. As Junkrat turned over for the hundredth time on the relatively soft mattress in his shared quarters with Roadhog, he looked at the digital clock on his nightstand. The glaring red numbers told him it was 3.20am. 

That wouldn’t have been so irritating if it weren’t for the fact that, to get to this stinking place they had to have been awake at 6am the previous day. They still managed to arrive late (because they had made a detour to take apart a car so Junkrat could make some tripwires in case the Overwatch goons tried anything funny). 

Junkrat groaned and started kicking at his blankets, suddenly hot and disgusted by the softness of them. He almost missed the scratchy, stinky blankets from all those shoddy motels. He sat up, hunched over and massaged his stump. The commute had also put a strain on his leg. Not that he said that to anyone…except Hog. He complained incessantly about it to Hog. Hog was actually really nice about the whole thing and only told Junkrat he’d kill him six different times. When they were first fleeing from the Junkers the threats used to get up into the high fifties. 

Junkrat sighed and flopped back onto the bed, throwing his arm over his eyes.

He got about an hour’s sleep. 

\-------------

The next day was tours and introductions and Roadhog was quieter and crabbier than usual and Junkrat was even a bit snappy. Mostly at the AI who was watching their every move and who Junkrat vowed to find the server room of and blow to smithereens.

The monkey did not like that and while everyone else gave the criminals a wide berth, Winston seemed to not want to leave them unsupervised for a second. (That was probably really wise of him but, to Junkrat who had been awake for over 24 hours now, it was insufferable). 

Eventually Roadhog, seemingly sick of seeing the compound, just turned around and headed back to their room. Junkrat scurried after him, leaving Winston lecturing to himself for a good five minutes before he turned around and saw the dangerous new recruits missing. He nearly had Athena set off the combat drill alarm for the rest of Overwatch to find them before they blew up the whole base. 

Athena kindly interjected that, “Operatives Rutledge and Fawkes have returned to their sleeping quarters. It seems like they did not sleep well last night.” Winston suddenly felt bad for dragging them around all day but was then consumed by how unvigilant he had become to not notice even Junkrat’s prosthetic leg clanking away from him. He scheduled a stealth combat simulation with Athena and moved on to organising some other routine for Overwatch’s operatives. 

Junkrat had not stopped talking since they ‘Ditched the monkey’s uncle’. All the way to the room. It was a torrent of words. Roadhog nearly pushed him down a stairwell just to get him to stop, but thought of how he might get kicked out of the compound for that and then he wouldn’t have a bed to sleep in. So, he drowned out Rat as best he could.

When they got to their quarters Roadhog sighed. He’d been worried that he’d gotten them lost for a while back there. The sigh rattled out of his mask’s filters. Junkrat’s exaggerated sigh was enhanced by his dramatic flinging of himself onto his already-dirtied bed. 

Roadhog was going through his usual bedtime routine, undressing and folding his clothes, pulling on his striped pyjama trousers, taking off his mask and carefully placing it on his night stand with his shotgun and hook (there was no space left on his nightstand for a clock). He went into the en suite and washed his face, his breath rattling in his chest as he made his way to the small windows in the bedroom and pulled the curtains. He pulled off his rings as Junkrat’s usual sleep-mutterings started up. 

Roadhog looked over to his partner in crime and grumbled as he went over and removed his prosthetics so that they didn’t get caught in the sheets. He then ungracefully rolled Junkrat under the blankets and considered suffocating him with the pillow as he started kicking in his sleep and caught Roadhog in the stomach. He didn’t…this time.

As he got into his own bed and turned off the lights, he hoped he could at the very least, pass out from exhaustion. He had barely slept last night and Junkrat’s constant moving and throwing the blankets off and pulling them back on had not helped in any way. He considered if this was worse than when they’d first partnered up and neither could sleep in fear that the other might kill them while they slept. Sleeping on the dirt in the Outback didn’t feel as nice as these beds in Gibraltar. 

But Roadhog still felt that fear that maybe this was all a ploy by some suits to get them relaxed, find out where the treasure was and take it, before locking them up. Roadhog huffed as he realised he was almost definitely not going to be able to sleep. 

\-------------

The next day Winston thought it might be a good idea to run a small combat simulation to see how the team would integrate with their new teammates. 

No one seemed excited. McCree seemed to be the one most accommodating to the idea. The former gang-member had been the most vocal on giving these guys the benefit of the doubt. Because of his accepting of the idea, most of the others had come around. 

Mercy liked Roadhog better than Junkrat and seemed to think that if they separated the two, Roadhog might prove a good operative whereas Junkrat would probably blow himself up due to anxiety and boredom. Genji sided with McCree and Torbjorn didn’t seem to hate them. Reinhardt did not like either of them and thought that they were simply going to swindle them and blow a hole in the coast of Gibraltar. Lucio was quiet, too busy adjusting his gun to weigh-in, while D.VA who spoke out about how she thought the Aussies were fun and discussed the merits of their fighting styles as additions to their roster. Everyone stopped arguing after that and worked with D.VA, considering how to best avoid any of Junkrat’s haphazard grenades or Roadhog’s wild shotgun shots.

When the former-Junker’s turned up, everyone could tell they had not slept well. Junkrat had dark circles under his eyes and he constantly drifted in and out of focus while Winston gave them the brief on the simulation. The explosives expert was hunched over more than they’d ever seen and he constantly yawned, he gold teeth winking at the team as he positioned himself as instructed (he only got the position wrong four times before Lucio corrected him gently).

Roadhog, on the other hand didn’t show any outward signs of fatigue. But everyone was pretty sure he had fallen asleep a few times during the brief, his rasping breaths becoming more drawn out and even. Junkrat elbowed him in the stomach the last time it happened and Roadhog had grabbed his bosses head in one of his giant hands and lifted the 6’5” man off the ground. Then they started yelling at each other and everyone thought that Winston was about to call the whole thing off.

Instead Winston smiled, his big fangs gleaming, though not as bright as the gleam in his eyes as he announced, “Since our newest recruits don’t seem to even want to get along with each other, I’ve made a back-up simulation.” He turned to the others while Junkrat was jamming his prosthetic leg into Roadhog’s face, threatening to bite off his kneecaps. Roadhog’s deep, rumbling voice made everyone’s heart rattle in their chest as he threatened to cut off the rest of Junkrat’s limbs. Even D.VA took a step away from the two. 

“In this new simulation, you all will have to work together to apprehend two criminals. Junkrat and Roadhog will be filling in the role of the criminals.”

“OI, GO STUFF YERSELF FOUR-EYES! WE’RE NOT GOING TA BE YOUR LITTLE LABRATS FOR SHOWING OFF TA YER SUPERIORS!” Junkrat was flipping Winston off, even while he was still suspended by Roadhog who rattled off a deep laugh at Junkrat’s insubordination. Reinhardt bristled, as did Mercy. McCree and Genji smiled a little fondly, as if they saw their former selves in the new members. Lucio nervously skated back and forth on his feet. 

Winston ignored Junkrat’s outburst and simply addressed the other members of Overwatch, “If you apprehend the criminals, you win this motorcycle and sidecar”. Winston gestured with a giant hand to a hologram that appeared in front of the combat room door. 

Roadhog and Junkrat stopped their squabbling and Roadhog let go of Junkrat who nimbly landed on his foot and peg-leg as he and Hog turned their eyes onto the hologram, silent. The hologram showed Roadhog and Junkrat’s personalised motorcycle and sidecar. Everyone tensed up as Roadhog gives a low growl before he stomped towards Winston, his hands fisted and his ring gleaming. Reinhardt made to intercept them as Winston holds up a hand.

“If the criminals evade capture for 30 minutes or the hunters are all considered out-of-commission, then the criminals win this prize.” Roadhog still stalked towards Winston and stood straight in front of him while Junkrat looked on silently. Everyone found Junkrat’s silence more terrifying than his maniacal warbling. “And whoever wins gets off cleaning duties for a week.” Winston added, apparently nonchalant about the massive murderer stood directly in front of him.

A silence fell over everyone before McCree cleared his throat, “Sounds fair.” Both Junkrat and Roadhog turned their gaze onto the cowboy and he couldn’t decide if Roadhog’s glassy lenses were more terrifying than Junkrat’s wide, glistening stare. D.VA saved him from the murderous glares by chiming in, “Sounds fun! Come on, let’s get going. I hate having to clean up after dinner, Reinhardt is the messiest eater I’ve ever seen.”

Reinhardt snapped out of his own glaring match at Roadhog to turn to D.Va in reproach and try to defend his messy eating habits. The tension broke and Roadhog turned back to Winston who responds, “If you win, you have nothing to worry about.” He then moved towards the stairwell to the combat control room to overview the stimulation. Junkrat scurried over to Roadhog’s side.

“Roadie, let’s blow this place to hell and get our baby back right now.” Junkrat’s voice was low and jittery. Roadhog stood in silence for a while before he grumbled and replied, “Let’s show them who they’re messing with in this simulation.” 

Junkrat was surprised by Roadhog’s compliance with this stupid match and looked from his grenade launcher to the stairwell Winston just entered. 

“Rat!” He looked over to Roadhog who was readying himself, picking up the tablet with their new brief on it. He looked back at Junkrat, “Come on.” Roadhog’s boss looked sceptical before begrudgingly clanking his way over to Roadhog. After a few minutes, he’d already forgotten that there was a prize, that the prize was their beloved motorcycle and what day of the week it was. He did remember he got to shoot at their snooty new teammates and he was practically dancing on his feet as they entered the combat room.

\-------------

After the simulation, everyone tiredly limped out of the combat room.

While Winston had made sure to pull out anyone before they got severely injured, everyone was still bruised from the ex-Junkers’ onslaught. 

They had all underestimated the criminals. Mercy could barely keep up with keeping everyone healed as Junkrat seemed to endlessly lob grenades and his concussion mines at them. Reinhardt had charged to pin Roadhog against a simulated building, but Junkrat threw down a steel trap, catching Reinhardt’s steel foot and allowing Roadhog to shoot his armour to bits. Brigitte would not be happy. 

Junkrat was hard to pin down as he had no fear or hesitation in using his own concussion mines to shoot him about the place. Genji cornered him once but Roadhog had appeared behind him, using his hook to snatch Genji back and only due to his swiftness did Genji manage to not end up shredded by Roadhog’s shotgun. In the end, Lucio, Torbjorn and Mercy were pulled out as out-of-commission. 

McCree, Genji, Reinhardt and D.Va only managed to get a solid plan of attack down near the end of the time limit. By that time Junkrat and Roadhog had made themselves cosy in a simulated bank. Junkrat was firing grenades out the windows every-which-way and even grabbing up some simulated cash. Roadhog managed to snag D.Va mech, which was already pretty beat-up. She ejected and retreated but managed to run over one of Junkrat’s mines and Genji had to catch her mid-air. 

The criminals won. Junkrat laughed crazily on top of the simulated bank before using a concussion blast to fire him off the roof. Roadhog hooked him before he face-planted into another building. Junkrat was still giggling as Winston gave them a debrief and made observations including ‘Junkrat that was not real money. Roadhog that was not a real cat, you did not need to pet it’ and then some genuine pointers on the hunter team’s strategies. 

Then Junkrat was sticking his prosthetic hand into the air and waving it and Winston’s teacher instincts kicked in and he was pointing at Junkrat, allowing him to speak, before he could remember that this was not a school and no one had to put up their hand. 

Junkrat was dancing on his feet, “Mate, mate! Where’s the prize?!” Winston smiled and said it was outside and Junkrat ran outside before the debrief was over and Roadhog followed after him. Junkrat commented on how this bike looked a lot like there’s but different somehow. Roadhog say that was because they’d washed it. They hopped into their usual seats and drove around the compound for a minute before Roadhog pulled over, behind some cover from the sea wind, but still overlooking the coast.

The simulation had worn them out, just like Winston had hoped. The newest Overwatch members fell asleep on their bike.

They often slept well in their new comfy beds from then on. Everyone quickly learned that Junkrat does not know what a mop is, or how to get all the food into his mouth. A bet started on who could see how Roadhog ate first but no one had managed to win yet.


End file.
